Romance Withered in Their Marriage Mess

The blood red of a rose always speaks of true love

"How did I get into this mess? Why did I marry this man?"

Max didn't seem to understand how lonely I was. He was stationed at an army barracks in Hawaii. I felt like I was on a deserted island. He had his work and his buddies while I had two small children and no one to talk to.

Arguments were the norm when I often demanded he spend more time with his family. He just responded that if he knew I felt like that then he should have remained as a single man. "And who says I have to change, anyway?" he'd yell.

Was I expecting too much? But Max regularly took an overnight 'charge of quarters' duty. He attended plenty of get-to-gethers with his buddies. He played on his unit's baseball team which required daily practices and games once or twice a week. On top of these interests, he also trained for triathlons in nearby cities. It's just that now we were married with children, I expected him to be there for his family. All the courtship and romance we'd once shared had simply withered and died!

To make a long story short as they say, I met another young married woman whose husband was a naval officer. Best of all, she didn't mind that my husband was only an enlisted soldier. And this dear person took me under her wing just when I was at my lowest. Over the next month we soon became fast friends. She invited me over for lunch many times where we shared our interests. And we baby-sat for each other.

Bea always seemed to know exactly what I needed. Whether it was food, treatment for children's ailments, or encouraging words. She shared about her marriage and her role as a wife and mother. As our relationship grew, I opened my heart and described the struggles in our marriage. Bea shared what she knew from God's Word, but I knew I'd done too many wrong things for God to care about me. And I told her that I was sure He couldn't forgive me. But Bea persisted and quoted John 3:16 , "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life."

Over the following months I learned so much, that when she asked if I was ready to trust God I readily agreed. Now everything would be happy in my marriage and it would improve one hundred percent. But that same night when Max returned, he sat opposite me and demanded a divorce! How could this be happening?
He gave me an ultimatum. "Either I get to do what I want to do, or I'm out the door. I'm not trying to change you, and you shouldn't try to change me."

He was partly right but I couldn't let him go so easily. "Okay, Max, if that's what you really want, but can I share some things with you I learned from the Bible?"He nodded, and I told him where the Bible said from Genesis 2:24 that a man should leave his father and mother and become one flesh with his wife. He sat awhile then said, "What else does it say?" So I read more passages from the Bible about how wives and husbands are to behave. We stayed up half the night talking over these Scriptures and then Max asked me to forgive him. And two months later my husband gave his heart to the Lord.

God gradually taught me how to let go the reins of my life and marriage and trust in Him. And as time passed God restored our marriage and made it whole. We actually fell in love with each other all over again. But it was a different kind of love. It was stronger and deeper than when we were first married and now we're closer than ever. Yes, it took God's power to clean up the mess in our lives...and to make me glad I married that man!
Story by Liz M.